Sometimes

it's just hard to know that you feel something for somebody that might not feel it back for you. Is this what a crush truly is? Do you ever think it would be better if we all could just have arranged marriages and skip all of this mumbo jumbo? But then I hear that these feelings are the best when you meet someone...that they remind you that you're still alive. They have truly reminded me that I'm alive but man...talk about a spin cycle of hope, pain, sadness, and happiness going on in my stomach. But it's all good...I'm finding that it's been a lot easier to just go with the flow...and not allow myself to get my hopes up. In fact, I'm pretty guarded and am almost prepared for anything. I know that doesn't sound good..but those who know me understand what I've been through...I would have to be an idiot not to be somewhat guarded. Anyways, just had to get all of this off my chest. I hope everyone is doing well!

Am I right side up or upside down?

Not having air conditioning totally sucks ass. It's not the whole house..but it happens to be my room, Gavin's room, basically the front side of the house. So I have been sleeping in the den on the couch and my back hurts so bad right now that I'm absolutely MISERABLE. So basically this is a bitching blog...I'm bitchy..lol. Excluding Theresa coming over yesterday..this weekend has pretty much sucked. My mom and dad have been fighting ALL weekend...Karen has pissed Melanie off, and let me mention again that I'm freaking HOT and can barely walk. Things are just kisses and roses over here. Ok, enough of that...go about your day..lol. Thank you.

There is hope!

Ok! So if some of you don't know...I wasn't able to go to the Dave Matthews concert this month. I know right? It's completely unheard of and I have been in a depression since they've been here. The reason why I couldn't go is because I have absolutely NO money. Since Erik has lost his job there has been no child support coming in at all...and I can't find a patient tech job to save my life. Anyways, the very last date on their tour is on October 2nd in Tulsa, OK. And guess who's going? That's right! Come hell or high water I will make it to see him this year...I mean come on...they have a new album coming out next month..that means it's a new album tour..and new album tours are AWESOME. So I'm happy. Have to figure out how I'll be able to afford tickets..but I DO have three months. EeeeK! So happy now.

Working it out

Ok, so I'm dating this guy and get this...he wants me to rock climb with him! Rock climb..yes, rock climb! You guys knOW me! I'm a big fine woman who really isn't all that active. But this guy is so cute and so adorable and it's so hard for me to tell him no. So anyways, I started working out Monday. I've been walking two miles a day and I'm feeling really good. Am I anywhere near in shape to go rock climbing?? Ummmm..NO...lol. I've even told this guy that I'm just not in good enough shape..but he's so sweet and he tells me that I can start out at the beginners level and how he would support me and all that good stuff. So anyways, I think I'm going to try it. Not this week and probably not next week. I want to give myself a month. I think after a month of walking and hopefully weight training...maybe I'll be ready? Anyways, it does excite me though...I love getting out and trying new things. So we'll see what happens.

3rd Level Baby!!

So I made it through my final today!! I'm so happy that I passed and that I can actually enjoy people's company again...man I miss that! I'm ready for the Summer with Gavin and I'm ready to date this guy that I think is SO adorable. Wow, I am just truly blessed to have made it this far!

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

I hope all you moms have a great day today! Mine has been perfect so far!!!

I miss my friends.

Yep, I do miss my friends. Dina, Teresa, Manda, April and Jenny to name a few. Have we grown apart? I know that so much is going on with everyone's life. Mine too, man..school has been sucking the life blood out of me. But still, I think about you guys all the time and hope that we'll all find ourselves in the same place at the same time soon. Summer is coming up and that means a lot of catch up is going to be done. I hope everyone can understand that it is school that is taking so much of me. I have two more lecture tests and then I'm done with the semester. I want to see everyone!! I hope everyone is doing good..especially Teresa's new little girl. I can't wait to see her! Anyways...those are my thoughts for the day..needed to vent before I get on with my studying. Love love love!