tests, tests, and MORE TESTS.

I'm so sick of tests. People who are in school right now..am I going crazy..or is class involved around freakin' tests? I mean, it would be nice to learn and discuss..but it seems like every class is preparing for a test..ugH. I can understand focusing on a test the week before..but it's every freakin' day. I'm just tired of how EVERYTHING is about tests. I have a lab test tomorrow. Then I have two tests on the 7th. You guys don't even know how happy I'm going to be when school is over!! I'll have the Summer free..with Gavin..it's going to be so great!!!

Is there such a thing as the Spring-time blues?

I've been really down here lately. Normally I get this during the Winter..but it's here now..and I'm tired of it. The biggest contributing factor is Erik. *Sigh* Gavin just misses him so much and I don't even know if Erik understands that or not. I do my best not to mention the word "daddy" around Gavin...but it's always Gavin that brings him up. I know he's happy when he talks about him...but it kills me inside. It almost reminds me of that pain that you feel when your extremely homesick...that's what I think Gavin is feeling now. I just wish I knew what was going on it Erik's head. I've known him for seven years so I know he has a heart...I know he does. But something is just not right about this entire thing. But anyways, I'll continue to analyze it to death like normal. Life would just be so much easier if Erik saw Gavin on a regular basis. It would be an answer to my prayers and it would make me the happiest person imaginable.

A lot of things going on.

Sheesh! I've got a lot to do! First is to finish school!!! Well this semester anyways. I have one lab test and one lecture test left in Micro. I have one test and one paper due for Dev. Psychology. Then I'm done! Woo hoo! I also have a baby shower to plan for. It's for Deidra...some of you may have met her at Gavin's last b-day party and our last Halloween party. She's having a little boy, so I'm going to be throwing her a baby shower on the 17th. I also have Gavin's birthday to plan for. I'm thinking about keeping it simple because I really want to save my money up to take him to the beach. Maybe I'll just have it being a pool party again...not sure. I did plan to have it in Karen's backyard and rent a petting zoo...but that's just too expensive..it sucks. But anyways, invites will go out soon. Dina, when are you coming down? Did you say June? I remember you saying that you would be down but I totally forgot the month. So after ALL of that, I get to go to my orientation at El Centro. Ugh, got to get fitted for their WHITE uniforms. And let me just tell you, white isn't a big girl's favorite color...ugh. I'm officially on another diet...lol.

So I have a lot going on. When is it going to be the time for relaxation???...

It ACTUALLY happened!!!

Yes people. It actually happened. I'm now an official nursing student!! I recieved my acceptance letter into the El Centro's nursing degree program just now and I'm just beaming. I have worked sooooooo hard and I'm finally seeing the results!!! I'm just too excited for words, I just wish I could climb up on my roof and yell it loud to everyone "I'M GOING TO BE A NURSE, BITCHES!!!" lmao...lmao....eeeeeeeeeK!!!!!!!!!

I'm BACK!

So I've decided that I'm going to start blogging back on here again. It's just so hard to blog about personal things on myspace without it getting to people that I hardly know. I'm sure you guys know what I'm talking about. And plus, I miss this place. I still check everyone's blog and I'm needing to get back into the mix of things. So anyways, this is what's going on now. I'm sick to my stomach about it. BUT, either today or tomorrow is when I'll know whether or not I'll get into nursing school. They sent out the letters yesterday and since this place is super close to me..I'm assuming that I'll get it today. So these thoughts have been racing in and out of my head about the what-ifs. I mean, what if I don't get accepted? I guess it wont be the end of the world..but it's a major set-back that I dread having to go through. I keep telling myself that if I don't get accepted that there has to be a reason...a really good reason. I'm just keeping my faith in God that he's leading me down the path that I'm meant to go down. So everyone just say a little prayer, and I'll update you guys once I find out.

Also, I'm dealing with the stresses of Erik right now. Talk about someone I don't even know anymore...man...it's crazy. On the 25th of this month it will be FOUR months since he's seen Gavin. I'm still trying to wrap my head around it. I do have to say that I'm doing better than I thought I would. I guess that just shows how strong I truly am. I'm finding myself enjoying life again and I'm noticing that I'm actually able to look at my son without having to see his father. I'm able to enjoy Gavin...I haven't been able to say that in a long time. It may sound weird...but I went through an emotional shock that kept me from experiening any good emotions..they were all bad..for a really long time. But things are looking up. I've actually lost fourty pounds now and I'm well on my way to being my pre-pregnancy weight. I've got a new haircut which I absolutely adore and I'm feeling really confident with myself. I'm actually finding myself having a crush...and it's super fun. So things are a lot better.....and I think I'm pretty much happy right now. Can you tell I'm smiling when I say that?..lol. However, I terribly miss my friends. I miss everyone together. I realize that Teresa's birthday is coming up and she hasn't even told me if she has anything planned. I miss the birthday dinners with everyone...and now almost everyone is gone *sniff*. I'm so serious, but we're going to need to like start having reunions or something because this is ridiculous.

So I guess that's about it right now. I'm about to get ready to go to school. I have until the first week of May 'til school is over and I'm SO READY. I have been going to school non-stop since last Spring. That's all through Summer and everything so I'm in desperate need of a vacation!! I'm going to enjoy this Summer like crazy. I CANNOT wait.

Well, I hope everyone is doing good. I miss you guys!!

I'm just ready for it to be over!

I'm tired of school. I know it's the same song and dance for me..but it seems that this is a never ending road. You can't even imagine how defeated I feel knowing that the hardest part is still ahead of me..*sigh*. I just need to vent about this. Don't get me wrong this Anatomy II class could be A LOT worse. I mean, the teacher is nice and fun and she gives us reviews! I'm pratically in heaven! But I'm just tired. I should have taken the whole Summer off but decided that taking Anatomy II in one month is MUCH better than taking it in 3 and a half months. So, I'll get over this. The second week is almost over and that means I'll just have three more weeks.

I've also started TOPS last week. That's new news. If you don't know what TOPS is..it's kind of like weight watchers but costs WAY less and you don't by a point system. Well anyways, it's my mom, me, Melanie, and Karen going so i hope we can keep up with it. I'll update you guys on any weight loss.

So anyways, Have a good week!

Can someone please explain all of this rain?!

I just don't get it. How can it be the end of June and we're still getting TONS of rain. Is it global warming? Someone please explain. I'm tired of looking at my pool and not being able to get into it. This truly sucks.

Updating you all.

Ok, I've had questions from some of you about how Gavin and daycare is doing so here's the scoop. Gavin has been going to daycare since last Monday. He still cries every morning and proceeds to tell everyone he sees in the morning that he is not going. I swear it is breaking my heart. It's funny though, when I go to pick him up he's in a really good mood and his teacher says that he's starting to warm up a little. The first day was the hardest though. Yep, tears were shed from him and me too! But I think this is a good thing for him. He needs to get out and interact with kids his own age instead of being here with Kenzie cooped up in the house. When I get the chance I'll post pics of his first morning in front of his daycare.

In other news, if some of you haven't heard..I dropped my nursing class. I went for two days and it was just awful. Let me explain. I was told when I registered for this one month class that it would be 14 people only. So i was thinking great..a small class...I'll be able to ask questions and everything will be great. BUT on my first day they informed us that they were putting three classes together. A total of 45 people and THREE professors. I was like...what the hell? So I decided to stick it out for a couple of days. But it was impossible. Everyone kept fighting for the equipment that we're supposed to learn on...and frankly...it was a pain in my ass. So tomorrow I am registering for the same class for the fall. It starts at the end of October oddly enough, but I'll still get to apply for the program for next fall not next spring. Anyways, I'm enrolled in Anatomy II for Summer II so things are still going as planned...but with just a minor change.

So now I'm here at home with no kids and bored as all get out. I did go to the dollar movie yesterday to see Norbit and it was a lot of fun. I haven't gotten to do that in forever. And the movie was really funny. So anways, better get back to doing nothing. I just want to thank everyone for making Gavin's birthday so special. He is enjoying all of his new toys and looking so cute in his new clothes!! We missed you Dina and Manda!!

Love everyone!

I DID IT PEOPLE.....I DID IT!!!!

I can PROUDLY say that I made an A in my Algebra class!!!!!!! WOO HOOOOO! You guys don't even know how freakin' excited I am about this. I have literally worked my ass off. And plus my occasional bitching and moaning gave you quite a hint on how I really truly view Algebra..pain in my ass! But God bless my professor...GOD BLESS HIM!

Also, I made A's in my Compisition class and my Psychology class. So what does that mean? Anybody? Anybody? That means, that when I get an A in the nursing basic skills class that I am taking in Summer I. I will officially be applying to El Centro's nursing program with a 4.0 GPA. Ahhhhhh...how great life is.

In other news, Gavin is starting his first daycare on Monday. I enrolled him today and I feel really good about it. Completely out of my mind with nerves, anxiety, and sadness. But I know that once he gets used to it, he's going to love it. The reason I'm having to do this is because of that nursing class. It starts on Monday and it's a 4 hour morning class. I told my dad about it about a month ago and he was like "I'll watch Gavin, but I can't watch Kenzie." Everybody knows that girl is a holy terror...lol. So I talk to Erik and we decided that this would be best. This will be a great summer...I can just feel it.

I'll make sure to take pictures of his first morning and post them up here. I keep trying to tell him that he's going to start school on Monday but he's in denial...lol...it's so cute. Keep your fingers crossed for him.

So I'm off to bed, I'll give you all the details after Monday. Love everyone!

Yes..I'm still alive.

Ok, so some of you may think that I have jumped off the face of the earth. Nope, still here...still kickin'. So many things have been going on here I don't even know where to start. Many birthdays have been celebrated many tests have been taken...many hearts I've been breakin'. Ok, not really...since I was rhyming..why not go with it right?

So school is going good. I'm currently making A's in both my classes but they are low A's and if I don't do good on my finals then I can basically just kiss those A's away.

I start Maymester on the 14th for Pscychology. I've already taken this class and made a B. But sinnnnnnnnce the nursing field is in such high demand, it's almost necessary that I apply in August with a 4.0 gpa. Talk about pressure!! I swear, if I get into this program I will probably kiss everyone I meet, and know for that matter. Pucker up babyyy!! Ow!

So it's late, I'm a bit loopy. Can you tell?

Ok, so invitations for Gavin's b-day are going out tomorrow. I actually had some quiet time today to address and stamp them. It's going to be a GREAT party. I'm actually thinking about trying to rent a margarita machine. I know, child's birthday..drinking? Hmmmm...I see it this way...us adults need to drink to deal with that many children! Ha ha! We'll see about the machine...otherwise it's BYOB.

Well, I better head to bed. Love all of you guys and miss you too!

Sad

Today I'm sad. Here are the reasons why.

1. I'm sad because families are crying in Virginia tonite.

2. I'm sad because I found out that the day that I'm going to be maid of honor to my friend Deidra's wedding is on the exact same night that the Dave Matthews Band will be performing at Smirnoff. When have I missed a concert? I can't even remember.

3. I'm sad because I didn't say Happy Birthday to one of my best friends yesterday.

4. I'm sad because I feel that my life is nothing but studying and school stress.

5. I'm sad because we finally took Gavin's wubba (pacifier) away and now all of a sudden he's not momma's baby anymore.

6. I'm sad because I haven't exercised in over a week. 10 days to be exact. I can't find the motivation.

7. I'm sad that I'm having to write this ridiculous list that is somehow making me feel better.

8. I'm sad that I feel that I'm losing track of my friends.

9. I'm sad that I'm going to be going to school ALL summer.

10. I'm sad because my STUPID English professor has yet to send me my graded assignments, even after I've sent her two emails and left a lengthy message on her machine. I mean, what the hell is the problem?

11. I'm sad because Dina feels defeated. I really feel like I'm right there with you.

12. I'm sad because I feel like I just can't pick myself up right now. When will everything just calm down?


Hope this didn't depress you.

Our trip at the Zoo!

Erik, Gavin and I went to the Dallas Zoo last Sunday and had a blast! This was Gavin's first trip to the zoo so it was definitely memorable. Here's some pics for your enjoyment!

Drained

Did I mention that I CANNOT stand Algebra? Because I can't. I'm literally wondering why the heck I'm doing these stupid problems while I'm studying. I know for sure that I do not need to know this stuff now..am I truly going to need this when I become a nurse? Is this some kind of torture tactic that they make you go through to prepare you for the future? Because I'm not sure it it's working.

Dancing with the Stars is back on! I just love this show..who's with me?

Total Randomness (stealing this from Dina)

Dina has inspired me to talk about all the random stuff that I've been thinking about here lately.

1. I miss cable. The storm on Tuesday totally messed with our cable and it's completly out. I called them two days ago and the soonest they can come and fix it is Sunday...Sunday of all days..I just don't get it. It's not like I live my life for television but it's nice to have it when you're bored and you can't sleep (like right now.)

2. I miss Dina. It wasn't the same without you there tonite at April's B-day dinner. I kept thinking that we were missing somebody tonite. And we were! April isn't getting here fast enough girlfriend. Are you going to be here for Teresa's birthday?

3. What am I going to be doing this weekend? I'm really not that sure. Supposedly, Simon and Sawyer are going to be staying the weekend over here but I have yet to see them. Simon's 11th birthday was in February and we have yet to celebrate it. I think the immediate family is going to get together and throw him a little party. What do I get an 11 year-old that he won't use once and forget about? Hmmmm.

4. You know I must be terribly bored to spurt out all this randomness at such a late hour. I truly dislike being bored. Who's with me? I suppose I could lay down and stare at the ceiling for a couple of hours but how fun does that sound? The internet is my only survival right now. And whoever knows me knows how I'm really not that much of a fan of blogging. I do it because I want to keep up with my friends. And I have to say that we've done a heck of a job stickin' together for this long. It's going to be two years 'til are ten year highschool reunion. Wow, I feel old. I shouldn't say that though because really..I'm not.

5. I'm really anxious to start nursing school. It seems like a never-ending road getting there. I found out that the last day for applying to El Centro for the Fall semester was February 28th. I mean who would put the last day of applying for next Fall in the middle of Spring semester. I mean come on. So it looks like the soonest of getting in will be next Spring. Ughhh. That's even if I get in. But if I don't I've made sure to have a backup plan.

6. Dogs barking at 11:00pm at night are annoying. I mean, what in the heck are they barking at anyways? Probably stupid teenage kids walking around.

7. I think I've wasted enough of your time with this. Sorry to all of those who have read my mindless blogging tonite. I have to say that it's pretty therapeutic and that it has taken some of the bordom away for about thirty minutes though.


Everyone, had a great night tonite. Hope you guys have a weekend full of fun and fullfillment! Love ya!

Everyone...it finally happened!

Gavin went pee-pee in the potty for the first time today!!! Hallelujah!!!

I'm so so so excited I can't stand it! We had previously started his potty training about 4 or 5 months ago but I knew in my heart that he wasn't ready. But last week I decided that it was time. Erik and I bought him the cutest Spider Man and sports underwear and he seemed very excited about them. Well we started bright and early last Thursday but he kept wetting and dirtying his underwear. I was completly stressed out but I stayed persistent and very patient with him. Well this morning I was reading him a book on the potty and he went! I was so excited and I didn't want to say anything until he was finished. Then he looked at me with the biggest smile and I praised him like no other. I did the "pee-pee dance" and my dad came into the bathrom and did the dance with me..it was so cute! Afterwards he called his Me-maw and his Aunt Melanie and his daddy to share the good news. So now I'm sharing the good news with you guys! Yay!

Eat your heart out Van Gogh!!

This is my sweetheart's creation. Isn't he cute? Erik and I bought him a paint-it-yourself piggy bank and he just had a grand ol' time! It feels like he was trying to do a Zorro-ish them with the large amount of dark paint over the piggy's face..lol. What do you think?

Oh what a night...

So our anniversary was perfect! The meal was spectacular and everything went smoothly. I swear, if you haven't tried Maggianos..it's awesome! You don't know what you're missing! I had the lobster stuffed ravioli..and oH..mY..gOD...it was wonderful! After dinner I surprised to find out that Erik planned for my family to be at my favorite whole in the wall bar for some karaoke! I thought we were going to moviesss..but he tricked me!! I had a blast winning third place at the karaoke contest. Melanie won second!! This was out of ten people so I was very pleased with us. I sang "I would do anything for love" by Meatloaf. Then later I sand "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen and then after one of the judges stopped me and told me that if I had sang that song at the contest I would have won! Wow, did I feel great! Well all in all it was a fantastic night that I'll never forget. Thanks honey for making it happen!

Happy Anniversary Honey!

I love you very much!

What a week.

It's been quite a week for me over here. My English class started on Monday where I was suprised to find out that I needed to buy THREE books for this course. Can you believe that? Three books? Well I found them all at three different locations..but it took a lot of work and my professor was little to no help. Other than that I've still kept on my exercise regime. Right now I'm doing the elliptical for thirty minutes six days a week and I've been really trying to cut my portions down. I'm excited because weigh-in is tomorrow and I hope that I've lost. I've really been kickin' butt. Another thing I'm excited about is that mine and Erik's anniversary is Friday! We will have been together for six years! Can you believe it? So he's going to be taking me to my favorite Italian restaurant Maggiano's...and oh my gosh it's soo good! I won't be dieting that night needless to say. We're also going to the movies that night..(if we have time) and I have no clue what to go see...any suggestions? Well I hope everyone's having a great week and I'll let you know how our night went!


p.s. Thank you Dina and Katy for the sweet little Valentine's Day card..Gavin loved it!!

Life Lessons

Never record the Superbowl on your DVR.

When the recording stops thirty minutes before the game ends...start it back up!

Never accidentally change the channel five minutes before the game is over and then when you change the channel back the winning team is already running the field.

-sorry honey.

-yay Colts!!