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Sunday, April 27, 2008

tests, tests, and MORE TESTS.

I'm so sick of tests. People who are in school right now..am I going crazy..or is class involved around freakin' tests? I mean, it would be nice to learn and discuss..but it seems like every class is preparing for a test..ugH. I can understand focusing on a test the week before..but it's every freakin' day. I'm just tired of how EVERYTHING is about tests. I have a lab test tomorrow. Then I have two tests on the 7th. You guys don't even know how happy I'm going to be when school is over!! I'll have the Summer free..with Gavin..it's going to be so great!!!

Friday, April 25, 2008

Is there such a thing as the Spring-time blues?

I've been really down here lately. Normally I get this during the Winter..but it's here now..and I'm tired of it. The biggest contributing factor is Erik. *Sigh* Gavin just misses him so much and I don't even know if Erik understands that or not. I do my best not to mention the word "daddy" around Gavin...but it's always Gavin that brings him up. I know he's happy when he talks about him...but it kills me inside. It almost reminds me of that pain that you feel when your extremely homesick...that's what I think Gavin is feeling now. I just wish I knew what was going on it Erik's head. I've known him for seven years so I know he has a heart...I know he does. But something is just not right about this entire thing. But anyways, I'll continue to analyze it to death like normal. Life would just be so much easier if Erik saw Gavin on a regular basis. It would be an answer to my prayers and it would make me the happiest person imaginable.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

A lot of things going on.

Sheesh! I've got a lot to do! First is to finish school!!! Well this semester anyways. I have one lab test and one lecture test left in Micro. I have one test and one paper due for Dev. Psychology. Then I'm done! Woo hoo! I also have a baby shower to plan for. It's for Deidra...some of you may have met her at Gavin's last b-day party and our last Halloween party. She's having a little boy, so I'm going to be throwing her a baby shower on the 17th. I also have Gavin's birthday to plan for. I'm thinking about keeping it simple because I really want to save my money up to take him to the beach. Maybe I'll just have it being a pool party again...not sure. I did plan to have it in Karen's backyard and rent a petting zoo...but that's just too expensive..it sucks. But anyways, invites will go out soon. Dina, when are you coming down? Did you say June? I remember you saying that you would be down but I totally forgot the month. So after ALL of that, I get to go to my orientation at El Centro. Ugh, got to get fitted for their WHITE uniforms. And let me just tell you, white isn't a big girl's favorite color...ugh. I'm officially on another diet...lol.

So I have a lot going on. When is it going to be the time for relaxation???...

Thursday, April 17, 2008

It ACTUALLY happened!!!

Yes people. It actually happened. I'm now an official nursing student!! I recieved my acceptance letter into the El Centro's nursing degree program just now and I'm just beaming. I have worked sooooooo hard and I'm finally seeing the results!!! I'm just too excited for words, I just wish I could climb up on my roof and yell it loud to everyone "I'M GOING TO BE A NURSE, BITCHES!!!" lmao...lmao....eeeeeeeeeK!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

I'm BACK!

So I've decided that I'm going to start blogging back on here again. It's just so hard to blog about personal things on myspace without it getting to people that I hardly know. I'm sure you guys know what I'm talking about. And plus, I miss this place. I still check everyone's blog and I'm needing to get back into the mix of things. So anyways, this is what's going on now. I'm sick to my stomach about it. BUT, either today or tomorrow is when I'll know whether or not I'll get into nursing school. They sent out the letters yesterday and since this place is super close to me..I'm assuming that I'll get it today. So these thoughts have been racing in and out of my head about the what-ifs. I mean, what if I don't get accepted? I guess it wont be the end of the world..but it's a major set-back that I dread having to go through. I keep telling myself that if I don't get accepted that there has to be a reason...a really good reason. I'm just keeping my faith in God that he's leading me down the path that I'm meant to go down. So everyone just say a little prayer, and I'll update you guys once I find out.

Also, I'm dealing with the stresses of Erik right now. Talk about someone I don't even know anymore...man...it's crazy. On the 25th of this month it will be FOUR months since he's seen Gavin. I'm still trying to wrap my head around it. I do have to say that I'm doing better than I thought I would. I guess that just shows how strong I truly am. I'm finding myself enjoying life again and I'm noticing that I'm actually able to look at my son without having to see his father. I'm able to enjoy Gavin...I haven't been able to say that in a long time. It may sound weird...but I went through an emotional shock that kept me from experiening any good emotions..they were all bad..for a really long time. But things are looking up. I've actually lost fourty pounds now and I'm well on my way to being my pre-pregnancy weight. I've got a new haircut which I absolutely adore and I'm feeling really confident with myself. I'm actually finding myself having a crush...and it's super fun. So things are a lot better.....and I think I'm pretty much happy right now. Can you tell I'm smiling when I say that?..lol. However, I terribly miss my friends. I miss everyone together. I realize that Teresa's birthday is coming up and she hasn't even told me if she has anything planned. I miss the birthday dinners with everyone...and now almost everyone is gone *sniff*. I'm so serious, but we're going to need to like start having reunions or something because this is ridiculous.

So I guess that's about it right now. I'm about to get ready to go to school. I have until the first week of May 'til school is over and I'm SO READY. I have been going to school non-stop since last Spring. That's all through Summer and everything so I'm in desperate need of a vacation!! I'm going to enjoy this Summer like crazy. I CANNOT wait.

Well, I hope everyone is doing good. I miss you guys!!